I’m doing nothing tonight

There’s nothing I’d rather do tonight than do nothing.

I’m trying to slow down. I don’t mean this in an “omg life so busy, popular me” kind of way. I’ve realised in the last few years that I tend to worry a lot about things. Maybe ‘worry’ is the wrong word – ruminate, over-think, analyse, over-imagine. My parents used to not tell me until the very last minute that we were going on holidays, visiting my grandma, or doing anything exciting, because I would keep myself up at night, daydreaming and anticipating.

Not sure what you’d call that. Mum said I was a hyperactive child, so maybe it’s more in my biology than in my mind. But you know, since the mind is the hub of your experience, an over-zealous biology eventually begets a busy mind.

And like most busy minded people I know, I’m hesitant to slow down – hesitant to park a project in case that part of my brain atrophies and I become never able to pick that project up again – oh, curse you, paranoia.

I’m ready to be daring about it now – even prepared to dramatise it in text form as my way of summoning the demon by name and casting it out. You get the idea. ANYWAY…

Aside from writing this post, there’s nothing I’d rather do tonight than do nothing. And play Neverwinter. Maybe have a cheese plate before bed.