Getting out of bed at noon on a Sunday

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I should get out of bed, but it’s really nice just lying here with the midday sun pouring through the curtains. Simple pleasures. I went LANning last night too. Surely a 3am bedtime affords me 10 more minutes wrapped in a doona.

My garden, ah! Tiny green things are poking through the soil of my veggie patch, just in time for spring weather to g up. ^__^ I think the many months of throwing kitchen scraps in the worm bin has given us a glut of tomato plants… maybe. There are little sprouts emerging (ermagerd!) by the dozen in random spots, looking suspiciously like the tomato seedlings I deliberately planted. Can seeds last that long in a compost heap? This is probably why the worm cafĂ© instructions explicitly say not to put any in there.

But I could live with a million tomatoes. Every couple of days, I’m weeding them out and transplanting to a little pot. Let’s see if we can be slightly less dependent on Coles this year.

I struggle at this time of year. For ages, I’ve tried to figure out what the cause might be – chemical depression, hormones, circumstances, diet, lifestyle. It’s the same anxieties each time. I feel angry about the ways life lets me down, or how I let myself down. Maybe it’s an evolutionary thing: beast brain is angry about rude people, trees with fewer leaves and blustery weather.

Gardening has helped. It’s useful to watch things die back, decompose in the worm farm and then go into a pot for new plants. I don’t feel stagnation with the same intensity – evidence is right in front of me, and under my fingernails (argh), that all things have a season. A friend just returned to Perth from an overseas holiday – a new man after 2 weeks away. His manner and body language seem more relaxed cos he’s doesn’t give as much of a shit about being ‘nice’. I think once that pressure is off, you’re free to be genuine, so you’re naturally a more real kind of ‘nice’. Now begins a new season for him; I’m inspired to treat my springtime anxiety as a new season for me.

Mm… Hungry now. And yenning for the garden. Time to see what grows.